HOPE IS DEAD BUT THE MIST IS CLEAR

The frustration piled up on Saturday morning of Dec 15. It was getting unbearable. I had fever crossing 101 F. For no reason I had bad day. I fought with everybody. I felt sick of everything. I knew the reason. The reason was ISB call acceptance.
I gifted something to somebody only to my despair to get back money for same. For me generally it had not been an issue if it was some other time but at that moment I didn't like that. Anyways as always I continued to work thru my way.
Finally that evening I checked mail for ISB informing me the rejection of application. First I felt sad but then I realized that it released me out of the tension for the same. I was surprised I felt so relived, it was bad to feel so but finally it the psych of a human. I should have felt bad but it really turned totally opposite.
I realized that though I failed I realized that I had my dilemma was over and I knew that I have to think forward and move in a particular direction to attain my goals. It was time to switch to contingency plan. I knew exactly what was my state and where do I stand. Though I didn’t knew what to do but I did knew what wont happen and that was enough for me to move ahead from the standstill position I had been suffering since last 2 months.
“HOPE IS DEAD BUT THE MIST IS CLEAR”. Finally my frustration was over. I was overjoyed by the state of my mind. Totally relaxed and happy soul I was then.
I would again say that “Truth is stranger than fiction” and that hold true.

OM SHANTI OM..........

That's what i need now. Continuing from last time I have tried to bring myself back to normal but it has been a difficult period.
The dead enthusiasm is difficult to rise. The phoenix is having difficult time to rise from the ashes.
This time the ashes are deeper than I ever thought.
I’m getting sick of the whole situation. I wanna break free. Wanna do something different. Want to bring back my enthusiasm.
I again want to be on the top of the world.
I want to break free. Break freeeeeeeeeeee…………………………….

The GMAT era

Finally the score appeared and i had crossed 710, much to my relief the physcological barrier was erased. Iwas relied more than happy. I got out of exam section with the feeling "it's finally over". Hmmm...............the journey of defying my own attitude to perfection.
The statement above might be confusing but true.

"Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't." - iti Mark Twain.

Yes it's true. I was frustated by my performance over the study period of GMAT. I was neither sincere in my efforts nor intrested in studies. I was just pushing myself to books, through discussion forums. I had lost enthu in life but still life is sweet. I continued dragging myself thru the whole process of studing. Finally nailing 710.
I could crack beyond 700 just b'cos I had already studied for GRE, CAT ,etc and it all helped me a lot.
The day b4 exam i was quite tensed not b'cos of anxiety but for i was not tensed abt my exams at all n that was the tension "WHY THE HELL I'M AIN'T STRESSED?". hmmm..........
jane do..............exam khatam..................baat khatam............
This is what i hate abt my attitude. the carelessness. something that my employer imbibed in me. ..............i hate this.....................
to be contined .......brk ke baad.